Which Type Of Parent Are You? You Likely Fall Into One Of These 4 Styles

Which Type Of Parent Are You? You Likely Fall Into One Of These 4 Styles

“Simply being aware of effective parenting strategies can help a parent pause and act purposefully in a moment they may have otherwise acted instinctually or emotionally,” Robertson explained. “Parenting is an in-the-moment kind of activity but it also is really about the long game ― parents are raising human beings who we all hope grow to be contributing citizens, future leaders, lifelong learners and stewards of the future they will inherit.”

“For children, emotional climate, especially a warm emotional climate, is your caregiver wanting to be involved with your interests, supporting you, cheering you on and being responsive to your needs,” said Oriard, who is a co-founder of Slumberkins, an educational brand focused on emotional learning. “It can look like snuggling up to read their favorite story or supporting them after something didn’t quite go their way.”

“When disciplining, these parents tend to choose harsher techniques and offer little to no explanation,” Oriard said. “This parent is like the boss who you barely see at work. You end up learning on the fly and figuring it out because direction and interaction is minimal. Then if you do make a mistake because of the low level of direction, your boss becomes enraged and takes it out on you in front of your peers and higher-ups.”

“We all want our children to be accepted and liked and part of that is helping them to navigate social norms,” Oriard said. “When demandingness and control become problematic is when adults take an adult-centered approach and try to control their child for their benefit instead of for the betterment of the child.”

“Without the emotional support, these kids can struggle socially and suffer from mental health disorders such as anxiety and depression,” Oriard explained. “This is due to the fact that high demandingness without a warm emotional climate can create an environment that is not only about behavioral control but psychological control. Psychological control is much harsher and uses shame and guilt to manipulate the child or coerce the child into doing what the caregiver wants or expects of them.”

“This is the boss that we all love working for,” Oriard said. “This boss is in the office and is friendly and welcoming to all of their employees. They know that Suzy fell off her bike last week and checked in to see how she was doing. This boss has high expectations of all their employees but communicates this openly and is willing to discuss trying things in a different way if you feel like it would help you.”

“Permissive parents are warm and loving, but this style is without a lot of rules or structure,” Robertson noted. “Sometimes this parent would be described as more of a friend relationship than parental. There is a lot less direction or expectation and children are given a lot of autonomy and a voice in most decisions. If rules are set, they are often unenforced.”

“If their child hits your child on the playground, they do not jump up to correct the behavior, they just let it go and chalk it up to kids being kids,” Oriard said. “In the office, this is the boss who doesn’t exactly know what is up. They don’t have a lot of demands and let you do your own thing. If you mess up a huge project, it’s fine. No worries. You yelled at your client over the phone? Not a problem.”

“It is OK to be flexible and to do the best you can each day,” Oriard said. “Understanding these parenting styles is just a small window into understanding how we as caregivers can best support our children as they grow into amazing adults. All any of us can hope for is that when they are grown, our children will be caring, confident and resilient members of our community.”

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