Being good enough: How to become more comfortable in your own skin

Being good enough: How to become more comfortable in your own skin

The media and marketing machines are constantly telling us we are not good enough in some way or another. Make’s perfect sense as this is how companies make their money, but it can come at a huge cost for many if we fall into this trap.

Women are targeted generally around their looks and to stay looking younger. Take for example, Nicole Kidman as I was watching her and Hugh Grant on a series a little while back. Nicole is 50+ and yet her skin was so perfect that she looked like a porcelain doll, and yet Hugh was able to get away with looking like a shrivelled walnut! I am being unkind, he looks his age and there is nothing wrong with that but why does he not have to look 30?

Not dissimilar to the Friend’s reunion and the three women looked like they have had some work, and the three guys look their age — grey hair and some weight around the middle. Nothing wrong with either, just very interesting as to why there is pressure on women and not men? Or is it women who are putting pressure on themselves?

Again there is nothing wrong with looking after yourself, but if you fear aging or you feel under pressure, then this is a whole different thing.

The truth is if we reach 50, 60 or beyond, then our bodies will show the signs. Things will begin to sag, wrinkles will appear, eyesight will deteriorate, and a whole lot more!

It begs the question: Why do we have to look 20 when we are 50? The answer is we do not. We can do what the hell we like.

I was happy to read that Kate Winslet, who is starring I believe as a grandmother in her next series, ‘Mare of Easttown’, insisted a ‘bulgy bit of belly’ was not edited out of a sex scene. Thank goodness celebrities like Kate are coming out and saying these things. 

I do not know about you, but I’m completely flawed and imperfect. If I was to critically assess myself, I would find at least 20+ things on my body that could do with some work or improvement. For starters, I would start with my face; my nose has got a bit of a bulge on it, that needs to go. My lips are ok, could with them being a bit plumper. My eyebrows could do with some shaping. My laughter lines, crows feet and bags under my eyes could do with some work and so on. 

Ok, so this is where I have a choice. I could now spend years doing some work on the parts that are not quite perfect in my eyes, or do I put my energy into things that matter to me? For me, I have decided to embrace all my imperfections and accept the way I look. I am far from perfect and, that’s ok. Yes, I dye my hair. Yes, I buy face creams. Yes, I may go for a facial once in a while, but at this stage in my life, I am going to get on with living as life is short. I refuse to stand there in front of the mirror every day, wishing I looked better and being self-critical.

I have been down that unhappy road a million times before and it is so miserable, I would be left feeling like crap, and the way I felt would impact my behaviours. I would have at a starting point had my hand in the biscuit tin or eating a bar of chocolate to try and soothe myself. Then I would be moaning that I was fat and down the rabbit hole I go.

Instead, I have decided to ignore the marketing machine that is telling me I should be doing this or that. Shut up! I live my life the way I want to, and if it doesn’t meet the social norms so be it. This is where you have a choice too, and make sure if you decide to have some work done you’re doing it for you and not because of the messages you are receiving.

The beautiful thing is when you begin to accept your flaws and imperfections, you begin to feel more at peace. You are not so worried about what other people think, which is a joy, and you become morecomfortable in your own skin. There is nothing better than this! When you accept yourself as you are right now, then the paradox is you are more likely to begin looking after yourself even more. Self-respect, self-care, self-compassion, self-love all are stepped up a gear, and often, the result will show up in making healthier food choices, and your fitness regime, etc. More likely to lose the weight you have been struggling with for years and you will have more of a natural glow.

So important to get this message across to your children as they have more pressure than we ever did at such an early age from so-called influencers and celebrities. If you begin to live like this embracing your flaws and imperfections, then they will more likely do the same and what a wonderful gift to pass to your children. 

That’s it from me this month!

If you have any questions or want to connect, please feel free https://www.instagram.com/teresa.e.townsend/ https://www.facebook.com/coachteresatownsend/