Parenting is never easy. There are just so many things to do and there is always space for making mistakes. You want your kids to grow into good and healthy people and you have a major role in making that happen. Namely, you are the figure they learn the most from and that is exactly why you should make sure to teach them the good stuff. If you don’t know how to teach your kids to be the best possible versions of them, here is what you should pay attention to.
It may come as a surprise, but kids start developing their sense of self pretty early. Even as babies, they see themselves through your eyes. For instance, your kids, as babies, absorb your tone of voice and your body language. Since your words, your attitudes, and your behaviour are so important in developing your kid's self-esteem, then you should definitely be careful with what you say and do.
If you say belittling things to your kids, they'll only feel worthless. On the other hand, if you praise them once in a while, they'll feel proud. If you let them do things on their own, you're teaching them how to be more independent and to feel stronger and more capable. Whatever you say to your kids, make sure to be compassionate and show them that you love them even if they're making mistakes.
Kids often make mistakes. That is completely normal considering the fact that they are so young and inexperienced. We are there to show them how to be better and it is okay to tell them when they are making mistakes. However, you could be feeling that you’re criticizing your kids way too much. Too much negative guidance can never be good.
What you should do in such a situation is to try and catch them doing something good. That is a much more effective approach if you want to teach them what is right and what is wrong. For instance, if you see them make their bed without you asking, make sure to comment on that and praise them. That will motivate them to do this again, but to also do other things.
In parenting, discipline is the key to everything. Your kids need to know what kind of behaviour is acceptable and what kind isn’t. They also need to know how self-control works. The only way to set these things straight is by setting some limits in your household. With some well-established house rules, you could teach your kids how to grow into responsible adults.
Another very important thing is that you should always be consistent. Once you establish the house rules, make sure not to break them. The rules could be – no hitting, no cursing, no TV unless the homework is done, etc. If you do allow breaking these rules occasionally, you might confuse the kids, especially if they are very young.
Many parents don't get the importance of this, but you must make time for your kids. Most parents can't even find the time to have a meal with their kids, but even this is very important. If your kids are misbehaving, they might be showing they lack your attention. To make things better, change your priorities, and include your kids into your day more.
For instance, you could start getting up earlier to have breakfast together or you could start creating your own traditions, such as cute DIY projects you could be doing every Sunday. This is all-important for the attachment security between you and your kids. Furthermore, you could go on a circle of security training and learn how to enhance this relationship more effectively.
The largest part of your kids’ upbringing is watching and observing you. Namely, everything you say will have a big impact on your kids, but everything you do will be even more important. All they do is observe and copy your behaviour.
If you don’t want your kids to be aggressive, you should act aggressively either. If you want them to understand you, talk to them. They need to understand your motifs in order to do the right thing. That is exactly why communication is important.
Even though you should be consistent, you should also know when you need to be flexible. Sometimes, parents can have unrealistic expectations from their kids. Whatever your kids do, don’t forget that they are also doing the best they can and you are there to help them get on the right path. If things aren’t working now, don’t be afraid to change your parenting style. All you need to do is to make a slow transition in order not to confuse the kids more.
Your kids need to know how you feel about them. If you’re constantly scolding or criticizing them, they might get the wrong impression. Try your best not to blame your kids if you need to confront them that can undermine their self-esteem a lot. Instead, make sure to nurture and encourage them. Tell them that even though you expect better from them, you still love them.
That means that you are imperfect, just like anyone else. You can't expect to be a perfect parent, because that is simply impossible. You need to acknowledge your own needs and limitations. As a family leader, you'll always have strengths and weaknesses, and acknowledging them is your path to being a successful parent.
You don’t have to have all the answers at any moment. You shouldn’t have unrealistic expectations from kids or your spouse or yourself. You’re all in this together and you should act as a team. Even if you make a mistake, learn how to forgive yourself and then how to fix it.
Even though parenting is pretty hard, you can still help your kids grow into admirable adults. With a lot of love, patience, and time and some realistic expectations, you’ll always be happy with the way your kids turned out to be.