What you need to know as a parent about your teenager's outbursts

Last updated: 08-16-2020

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What you need to know as a parent about your teenager's outbursts

Some think parenting might just get easier as our kids get older, but that’s not always the case.

In fact, studies show parents of teens are 20 per cent more stressed now, compared to 20 years ago.

Being cooped up during lockdowns has made a tough job even tougher.

At a time when our kids face many challenges, it’s important to find ways of navigating and understanding those teenage years together.

Tanith Carey is doing just that in her new book - sharing methods for parenting modern teens in today’s world.

“Emotionally, it is a lot more stressful,” Carey said.

“As they get bigger, so do the size of the issues around them.

“We all think the teenage years are tough on the teenagers - but my question is, are they actually tougher for us parents?”

“Everything our teenagers are supposed to be doing right now - getting some independence, breaking away from us - is exactly the opposite for them now with quarantine,” Carey said.

“We are telling them what to do, they have pressure from every direction to live their lives every second of the day.

“Most of all, we have to really see it from their point of view.

“If we can understand their point of view, we can understand our own reactions and what might be triggering us - and we’ve got a much better chance of getting connected with them.

“When we connect, we can communicate, and when we communicate we can iron things out.”

“As parents, we tend to be so panicked these days,” Carey said.

“We tend to criticise a lot more than we probably should. We tend to think we should be their life coaches.

“We tend to forget that this is a phase, a necessary phase that they have to go through in order to be independent adults.

“It is not a personal affront on us as parents. They are not deliberately defying your authority. This is what they are supposed to be doing in this phase of life.

“In the same way as babies learn to crawl and learn to walk, the teenagers are going through those same mental changes - but it doesn’t look quite as cute.

“But we should still look out for them.”


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