What comes to mind when you hear the word ‘divorce’?
There’s no doubt that the word evokes a range of associated feelings and words, but chances are words with negative connotations are more likely to pop up than terms with positive implications.
Divorce can take an enormous emotional toll on everyone involved: husband, wife, children, extended family, maybe even friends, too. Some people also wonder if divorce affects men differently than it affects women, especially those who are parents.
Children are most likely to get caught in the crosshairs of divorce. If no one explains the circumstances to them in a way they can understand, divorce can scar or scandalize kids. Although many happy, well-adjusted children do come from divorced households, it is frighteningly easy for others to slip through the cracks and endure lasting trauma.
It is possible to co-parent your children with your ex. It is possible to co-parent in a healthy, balanced way that does not leave your child feeling unloved or confused. Today we’re bringing you a list of recommendations for those considering divorce and co-parenting.
Doing most tasks with a person with whom you have a complicated emotional history sounds demanding enough, but raising children together ramps it up to a new level of difficulty. There will be moments of elevated tension, especially if the divorce is messy and drawn-out. At times you will want to scream, insult the other, shut down, give up, etc. However, keep in mind that the goal is not to unearth your marriage’s demons but to love and support your children as best as you can. Being kind to each is work, and it’s going to take conscious action to co-parent with your ex successfully.
If you’re having an especially hard time dealing with your ex or the emotions that arise as a result of dealing with them, consider talking to a mental health professional who can help you make sense of everything’s that’s happening during these trying times.
Take Time for You
Being a single parent means a lot more coordinating and scheduling on your end; you’ll have twice the amount of driving with half the amount of help! However, it’s crucial to take time for yourself to decompress, reflect, rejuvenate, and heal. Many parents–married, divorced, or otherwise–would agree that self-care is often not at the top of the priority list. Single parents may be especially vulnerable to burnout if they don’t set aside time to reflect on their role in their marriage and their relationship, which is now completed, not failed.
You might encounter times when your ex asks you for something, and your knee jerk reaction is to dig in and refuse. Whether it’s out of pain or pride, consider who would ultimately suffer the most if you don’t comply; if the answer includes your kids at all, reconsider your strong position and keep in mind that you are trying to create consistency and stability in their lives. Doing this will require a lot of humility and compassion for your entire family, ex included. Giving your ex the benefit of the doubt when things go awry also show a willingness to forgive and mend whatever has been broken. Practising these loving actions could even potentially set an excellent example for your children for how to manage conflict effectively.
If you’ve been contemplating divorce or even researching divorce solicitors in your area, consider going with RVS Solicitors. Their team of divorce solicitors are ready to use their expertise in divorce law to help you and your partner make the smoothest transition back into the single life. Call today for your free consultation.